Psalm 27: “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me”

Many have had the sad experience of being forsaken by their father or mother. This can happen because of broken homes, differences of belief, addictions to drugs or alcohol, or other factors, even if our experience is mainly one of psychological isolation. This abandonment often leaves children with emotional scars, and the pain may linger long into adulthood. However God can take the place in our lives of anyone who has abandoned us, fill the void they left, and heal the hurt they caused. He can direct us to those who may take the role of father or mother for us. His love is sufficient to meet all our needs.

Reflection: Where Do I Still Feel Unprotected?

When I sit with this question, it hits me in places I’ve kept quiet for a long time. There’s a big part of me that still feels unprotected — not just in one area of life, but in layers. Deep, old layers.

If I’m being honest, I rarely feel protected in my own body. Around my father. Around my fiancé. Around strangers out in public. Even typing that feels like revealing something I’ve never actually said out loud. When I’m alone in public, I catch myself drifting as far away as I can from men who are by themselves. It’s like my body moves before my mind even catches up.

It makes sense, though. I’ve never truly been able to protect myself… not from sexual abuse, not physical or emotional hurt, not even from childhood bullying. And now, here I am in my thirties, finally finding a voice — finally learning to speak up — but my mind still slips back into fear. Deep down, I still don’t believe I could protect myself if something ever happened again.

So if I’m answering this question honestly… I don’t feel protected in my romantic relationship, and I don’t feel protected in my family relationships. Not because of something specific they’re doing, but because my nervous system has lived inside survival mode for so long that “unsafe” is all it knows. In my relationship, I struggle when I’m not in control, when I can’t predict what’s coming next, or when affection comes without warning. Uninvited touch makes my body tense and my spirit curl inward. I don’t fully understand the “why” yet — but that’s something we’re exploring in EMDR, one gentle step at a time.

So… wish me luck. Healing these old, tender places feels like learning to trust again — in God, in others, and in my own body. And maybe this is the first time in my life I’m finally choosing to believe that protection is something I deserve.

XOXO,

The Healing Wildflower